Over the last week I’ve been trying to develop what is essentially the crux of this project: the narrative. In my photography, I begin with a particular story in mind and that story seems to grow somewhat organically into something else. Sometimes this is good. But more often than not, I feel like I stumble into good stories instead of being able to consciously cultivate them throughout my process.

And, unfortunately, it’s rather difficult to sit down and force brilliant thoughts to magically appear in your brain.

So, I did what what helps me best during periods of creative blocks; I procrastinated. I went for long walks with no real purpose, found a new band to listen to, and spent hours and hours looking at other people’s photographs.

Then, I had the thought to look at my photographs from the last semester. That was a very good thought, since I was able to analyze narratives I had previously built. My last narrative is the composition I have decided to use as a starting point. (see photos above)

The above series of photographs depicts someone piecing together a memory from the small scenes in their life. How someone remembers another person or an event is extremely subjective, and though there is a defined mood throughout the series, there is no transparent story. The weight of these scenes carries different meaning for the person depicted within these photographs. I think it’s kind of fascinating how these transient moments begin to build and define a particular memory.

The movement through this story will be divided into three sections that embody particular states of mind as well as the elevation from one state of mind to the next. Each section will have a combination of content I have generated myself as well as stories and photographs I have collected from others.

The overall atmosphere of the first section is one of confusion and loss. These moments are the aftershock of some painful event. It’s having something and then suddenly not having it. That next morning, even that next day, is a long stretch of gray, where you’re still trying to process what has occurred and how you should react to it. You continue with your routine, but suddenly these little elements of your life dredge up memories of how things were before. It’s nostalgia that hurts.

The second section will focus on the fragmented pull between the first and last sections. The primary themes play with the idea of masking and pretending. You are now forced to start absorbing this loss, but at the same time, you must continue your routine. It’s feeling almost fine one moment and then feeling overwhelmed the next. This section will contain slightly more structure and clarity than the first. However, there will be sudden moments within the content where the mood shifts dramatically back to the first section, and then has to rebuild back to a neutral plane.

The third and last section will be lighter, more positive, and focused on the final feeling of acceptance. There is no longer a feeling of pretending. It’s genuine contentment. This does not mean everything is happy-go-lucky, but it’s a mood of feeling unburden. I want it to personify that moment when you breathe again. Relief.

Next steps: creating mood boards and begin generating ideas for content within each section.